The Laugh Out Loud Guide to the SAT

January 19, 2009

The Laugh Out Loud Guide: Ace the SAT Exam without Boring Yourself to Sleep! uses comedy to prepare students for the dreaded SAT. Here are a few sample questions. How would you do?

1. Yo Momma so _______, when you mail her a letter, you need two zip codes.

(A) diaphanous
(B) luminous
(C) ravenous
(D) grisly
(E) corpulent

2. At a Saks Fifth Avenue store, Winona Ryder examines four distinct blouses, five distinct dresses, and two distinct handbags. How many different combinations of items can she shoplift if she takes exactly one blouse, two dresses, and a handbag?

3.My parents, Brad and Angelina, went to Vietnam and all they got me was this lousy brother.

(A) went to Vietnam and all they got me was this lousy brother
(B) went to Vietnam, all they got me was this lousy brother
(C) went to Vietnam, this lousy brother was all they got me
(D) went to Vietnam; and all they got me was this lousy brother
(E) went to Vietnam; and this lousy brother was all they got me

4. On a scale of 1 to 10, Warren’s hotness can be expressed as a , where a and b are positive integers and ab. If Warren’s hotness is equal to 2, what is the value of a – b?

(A) -10
(B) -1
(C) 0
(D) 1
(E) 10

5. Loading The Toddmeister onto a gurney, the emergency
        A
medical technicians, who happened to be Kappa Omega
                                       B
Kappa brothers themselves and the winning team of the
                              C
2000 Chug-a-thon, was relieved to see that the
                                    D
championship drinking trophy was still out on display.

No error
     E

6. In the figure, if x = 5 – y, what is the value of y² + 25?
(A) 7
(B) 32
(C) 39
(D) 56
(E) 64

7. After a _______ investigation, the inspector _______ that faulty wiring was foshizzle the cause of the fire that burned down Snoop Dogg’s hizzouse.

(A) lengthy, realized
(B) complete, prognosticated
(C) cursory, ruled
(D) thorough, determined
(E) copious, charged

 Get the answers after the jump!

ANSWERS:

1. E
2. 80
3. A
4. D
5. D
6. B
7. D

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